Today I became the hero of the state

– I climbed up onto the Great Wall. According to the great Chairman himself, one can only call oneself a hero after climbing the wall. I’m not sure he meant it quite the way it sounds…

Another grey hazy day, and we went out of Beijing to the closest gate – I didn’t see Genghis, but it certainly impressed me – the wall snakes up and down the densely forested hills outside the city. I can imagine how hard it would have been to thrash the way up hill and down dale through the greenery only to then be faced by the wall. I wouldn’t have done it, but then again I’ve never really been motivated by conquering..

The assault on the wall felt harder than the climb of Huainapicchu in Peru.

38 deg C, 100% humidity, uneven steps and the height of the climb… One of our fellow travellers shared a new theory- the height to which one climbs is inverse to the age of the climber… So, being quite old, we only climbed to the second gate house, and that was quite enough. The view was constrained by  haze – making out any thing further than 500m away was nigh impossible. Poor hubby, I insisted on having the tripod just in case there was an opportunity for high dynamic range photography? The range was definitely less than dynamic. But I used it anyway – I didn’t want H to think he’d gone to the trouble of carrying it for nothing!!

The climb down is inevitably worse, and by the time we hit ground floor, my knees were shaking and I felt like I’d just been dunked in a bath. For $13 each we had an iced coffee and I took up position in front of one of the air-conditioners until my face faded from beet red to a delicate shade of lobster. It is not true that ladies only glow, or maybe I’m not a lady?

Tomorrow I am investing in an umbrella – sun on hat on head = hot head. Sun on umbrella 500mm above head = slightly cooler head. And we definitely want cool heads.

Our other stop was a Jade factory… I learned a few things about jade – they seem to call all  sorts of things jade; amber, jasper whatever… But the value is dependent on clarity and colour and translucency. Very rare, and therefore very expensive is where there is a seam of white through purply/black jade – several beautiful sculptures used this feature – one of white ibis perched on rock was particularly stunning.

Lunch was Chinese again – at a cloisonne factory. Now you’d think the french had invented everything the way they give such lovely names to things… But we are assured that the Chinese developed this art form – brass structures with enamelled colours. Sigh – some of the pieces were truly stunning.. We restricted ourselves to a few portable pieces and numerous photos..

Are we there yet?

We recently decided to visit China – not for any particularly burning reason, other than the most incredible deal; so much-too-good to refuse, we joined a group tour. It is not our favourite way of travelling, but for a country that has an incomprehensible language, and an equally incomprehensible government, it made sense to be guided out of trouble, rather than unguided into it. And so we set off – hoping that we wouldn’t get what we paid for.

China Eastern Airlines gave us an interesting flight – not. The inflight entertainment system was entirely un-entertaining. No great panel of movie choices on our personal screens – oh no, we were back to the one-screen-at-the-front-of-the-cabin and locked into what the airline deemed fit viewing.

First up a children’s film. Had I been even remotely interested I would have been disappointed – either it was the earphones or the audio system, but either way sound wasn’t great. Next was a bland Hollywood father and child film , subtitled in Chinese and English, but still incomprehensible.

I buried my head in a book, and when that ran out, entertained myself with Sudoku. Thus passed the first 6 hours. Every now and then I looked out the window, and as always, was struck by the amount of flight time it takes just to get out of Australia! It seems that it takes forever before the red/brown centre gives way to the coast in the north west. The view of the centre from the air is really something – twisting ribbons and branches of dry river courses look like dark veins against the landscape.

The meal service was edible – and the usual two choices. This time, noodles or rice; apt for a Chinese airline. Surprising was the fact that there wasn’t any alcohol offered – one is accustomed to be offered a choice of alcoholic beverages. By the time husband had a yen for a drink, it was gone: the flight attendant advised him that they only had three bottles of wine and a dozen beers to start with.. What the?   My cynical thought was that all of the people who signed up for the visit-China-deal-of-the-century had been put at the very back of the plane, and that the rest of the plane had free gins-and-tonic all the way there…

The other thing they ran out of half way through was water in the bathroom. No, no not the drinking kind – the flushing and rinsing kind. The first I knew, I pushed down on the little blue and red rubber thingie on the wash tap, and just got a hiss of air which did nothing to remove the soap from my hands… Now that’s a first – I have never had that happen on any flight ever! Fortunately they didn’t run out of water and juice to drink; not that I used OJ to wash my hands….

After about 6 hours, I had had enough, and without a movie of my choice the tedium set in. Sudoku puzzles only go so far, and once you’ve reached that point nothing helps.

I think they realised that, because shortly before our arrival in Shanghai they played a video of in-seat Tai Chi – much shoulder-, wrist- and foot- rolling may well calm the mind, and at the least will distract you from the fact that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing to help you to pass the time faster.

Is there anything  more tedious than a long haul flight? I know I am an ingrate – after all, at least I’m making the flight! There are any number of people willing to exchange their boredom for mine! So I will pay attention and try to keep the grumbling to a low background noise.

It was already dark when we arrived in Shanghai for our onward flight. We had been treated to the most spectacular sunset  – though I realise that’s testament to the particles in the air over China- there are some benefits to poor air quality.

The immigration process was painless, and rather sweet – instead of the po-faced border security I am used to, I was processed by a sweet looking Chinese lady. Beside her on the counter, I was offered the opportunity to rate her service by pushing one of several buttons on a counter:  from 😦 for awful through :-I for neutral to 😀 for great. You think I’m making this up!!! No siree Well, as hubby likes to say –  to cut a long story short, we finally made it to our hotel in Beijing at 2.00 am local time. I was aghast when told that we would have a wake-up call 5 hours later; there goes my beauty sleep….. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

From Marx to Marks

On a recent tour of China I noted that for a communist country, they do capitalism really well!!!! We were taken to a number of places to help our understanding of the country; Traditional Chinese Medicine, Silk production, Jade, the Great Wall. At each, we had plenty of opportunity to be thoroughly fleeced. Who says China is cheap??

TCM – traditional Chinese medicine. At the Academy of Chinese Medicine in Beijing the guide handed us over to an earnest young Chinese medicine man who promised a 20 minute foot massage after a soak in the special herbs.

The clinic is touted as the pre-eminent research centre for TCM. Only the best herbs are used, and the most concentrated. The spiel continues: the Academy only treats the elite of the government, if we are very lucky, one of the doctors may have time to do a consult. Hey presto – six doctors appeared and the first doctor just happened to be the personal physician to the premier minister. Out of the 30,000 government honchos, none of them have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, Alzheimer’s or cancer. What makes them so mean then? Just joking.

So, the head Dr came and sat with us with a lovely young nurse interpreter. Doc gets it pretty right, and then prescribes four herbal remedies, and suggests that my very painful knuckle, sleeping, circulation and memory will be improved within a six month treatment consisting of two of each remedy twice a day. Rather cheekily I asked the nurse to translate to Doc that if I’m not fully cured, I’ll want a refund in six months… Not sure he saw the humour…..

Silk. In Suzhou we were taken to a silk factory. We were given the spiel by Lili, our local guide: this factory is duty free. It is set up by the government, and all the silk is made by hand. As a special deal we can get the duty free silk duvet, and silk mattress protector cheaper than the Chinese can buy for themselves in the supermarket. So, first we see how it’s made, then we see the showrooms, and finally a fashion show to finish up. Needless to say, there is AMPLE opportunity to enrich the Chinese coffers. And after hearing all the factoids about the health benefits of silk – the Japanese even use it for face filler to remove wrinkles – of COURSE I buy. Mind you, two duvets (use one on its own in summer, and clip two together for winter) plus a mattress cover are cheaper than a full set of Sheridan sheets in Australia so I do feel better about that… Not much, but husband is looking pale around the gills.

Jade.. China is the home of jade, and we were treated to a local factory that educates us on the value of jade.. One of our companions bought a solid jade bangle which broke as soon as she tried it on outside the showroom. Fortunately she got her money back – that one got away!! I managed a modest ring and necklace.

Pearls – Yet another factory, and another shopping opportunity. Even for someone who knows little about pearls, the price seemed cheap-ish. But the bracelet I chose is not…. Sigh, why is it I always like the dearest thing in a shop – taste? Nah, I reckon its more money than sense – but it is beautiful….

Tea – full of phytophenols which can clean mucky black stuff out of water and rice, so think what it can do for your insides! The best tea of course is the first pick of the season, and it’s organic because the snows kill all the bugs so there aren’t any when the season starts again.

We now have a new suitcase….